Earlier this week (okay, it was Monday) the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration announced a new proposal to have lap and seat belts included on all new motorcoaches.

Over the years, one research study after another has shown how effective a properly worn safety belt is at avoiding passenger injury in the event of a crash, but never have bus manufacturers been required to add them to bus seats.

This new proposal is a supplement to the Motorcoach Safety Action Plan that was announced earlier this year,  a measure intended to deal with motorcoach maintenance and driver fatigue and inattention.

No word yet on whether these requirement includes public school buses, but let’s be honest: school kids would probably just use the belts as another way to torture that weird kid who eats his own paste.

This may be the single most-asked question:

“How does defensive driving work?”

Meaning, of course, how do I use a defensive driving class to get my ticket dismissed?

Well, we can answer that, but bear in mind that what we’re going to tell you applies to defensive driving and ticket dismissal in Texas. Things may work differently in other states, but Texas is our home turf and that’s what we’re going to limit ourselves to.

STEP 1: Contact the Court
On your ticket somewhere will be the name of the court involved, the address and telephone number, and a date—usually about 21 days after the date the ticket was written. That date is your deadline for contacting the court.

It’s always the court’s decision whether a ticket can be dismissed or not, so you have to contact them and get their approval to have a ticket dismissed before you take the class. Normally, this is just a formality, but it has to be done. Even if the officer that wrote the ticket told you that you could get it dismissed, you still need the court’s approval to make it official.

Be prepared though: even if you elect to have a ticket dismissed, you’ll have to pay court costs. This is usually about $110 — plus $25 if you were ticket in an active school zone.

STEP 2: Know your Deadline
Typically you’ll have 90 days to take the class, receive the certificate of completion to prove you were there, and deliver the certificate to the court.

That certificate has to be mailed to you. Whenever the courts are involved, we – and every other defensive driving course provider that’s following the law – are not allowed to hand your certificate to you personally. It has to pass through some third-party between us and you. In most cases, that third-party is the US Postal Service, though it can also be some overnight mail service or a courier. This requirement was begun a few years ago to help eliminate some fraudulent practices that some companies engaged in.

What this means for you is that you cannot wait until the deadline to take the class. If you do, you run the risk of not getting your certificate in time without paying extra for overnight mail. The advice we usually give is this: find out the last day to deliver the certificate, then subtract three weeks and consider that your deadline. Do this, and you’ll get your paperwork before it’s too late.

STEP 3: Sign up for the Class
Our online defensive driving class is incredibly convenient, because you decide when you want to work on it and for how long.

If you’d rather take a live class, check out our calendar of classes to find which of our 30+ locations is closest to you and best fits your schedule.

STEP 4: Take the Class
This is the easy part, because our instructors will be doing most of the work. You just need to fill out your paperwork carefully (remember: mistakes equal delays), pay attention, and pass the quiz at the end.

And, most importantly, have a good time. The whole point of mixing comedy and defensive driving is to cover the required material without boring anyone into a coma but without a comfy hospital bed.

STEP 5: Deliver your Certificate to the Court
When your certificate arrives (with regular mail, usually within 7 to 10 days after the class), there will be two copies in the same envelope. Sign the one marked “court copy” and get it to the court; deliver in person or send it registered mail. At this point, the court should erase this particular ticket from your record.

The other copy of your certificate is marked “insurance copy.” Ask your insurance company whether it offers a discount for people who’ve taken defensive driving. If so, the typical discount is 10% for three years. So instead of your insurance going up because you got a ticket, it may even go down because you took our class.

STEP 6: Remember what you learned in class
and don’t get another ticket!

This question came up three times last Friday:

“How do I find somebody who teaches the DUI class I need?”

This is an easy one. Put your cursor over FAQ at the top of our Website, and list of options will appear. Click where it says: Helpful links and Resources.

That will take you to another page of useful sites that we’ve found. On that list, under DUI you’ll find the first entry is Finding a DUI Course in Texas. Clicking that will take you to a list created and maintained by 1 800 DUI LAWS, an organization of DUI attorneys across the country.

Find your city on the list, and it will show the names, phone numbers, and Web addresses of the places that teach the Texas DUI class in your area.

One of the most common things we have
to explain to our customers is this:

“The court says
I have to take a ‘driving safety course,’
but all I find is  defensive driving.
What’s up with that?”

Oh, those lawyers: they have different name for everything. Like the French.

The simple fact is that a “driving safety course” and a “defensive driving course” are the same thing. Everyone calls it “defensive driving” except for judges and attorneys who call it “driving safety.”

But if you’re looking to meet a court’s requirements to get a ticket dismissed, they’re the same thing. And we can help you with that.

Actually, there is a more subtle difference if you’re interested in something more fundamental than satisfying a court. In a larger sense, “driving safety” is the entire idea of being safe while driving, all the attitudes and knowledge and skills that make any one driver safer when they’re behind the wheel.

If you look at it this way, “defensive driving” — the strategies and techniques wise drivers use to stay out of dangerous situations when they can and deal with them when they must — is just one aspect of this bigger picture.

(Of course, most people just want to make the court happy and make the ticket go away. I included all that “bigger picture” stuff to make the pedantic jerk in our office happy.)

Michelle in the Texas Panhandle called our office this morning with a great question:

“I want to take a defensive driving class in person,
but I’m not near a city where you have classes.
How can I find a class where I live?”

It’s true that ComedyGuys.com doesn’t have classes in every Texas city.

Yet.

As of now, we have more than 30 locations in Houston, Tyler, Denton, and all around Dallas and Fort Worth. And if you’re not in one of those places, we do have our online defensive driving class, which can get your ticket dimissed anywhere in Texas.

But if you want a live class and you’re not near enough to one of our locations, there is a database maintained by the Texas Education Agency that lists all licensed driving safety schools in Texas, sorted by city. Just pull up THE LIST OF ALL CLASSES, find your city, and make a few calls to find a class.

Of course, we wish everyone could take our class, but until our locations cross the state, we’re happy to help people find live defensive driving classes in their area.

It’s all part of our dedication to making Texas a safer place to drive.

Save time:
Anytime. Anywhere. At your own pace. The online defensive driving course fits into your schedule and is doesn’t matter where you are. It’ll work anywhere you can find an Internet connection.

This saves you commuting time and prep time, and allows you to reschedule your lesson at the very last second should any sort of emergency (or sudden desire to get far, far away) arrive.

Save money:
Taking defensive driving online gives you all the same money-saving benefits of our live classroom course. You’ll save on your vehicle insurance and be able to dismiss that ticket without having to pay the full amount.

Save driving:
Let’s say you just got a traffic ticket or were involved in an accident, and you’re a little bit nervous about getting back out onto the road before brushing up on your skills. We’re here for you and will have you driving confidently again in no time — without ever having to leave home until you’re ready.

Save comfort:
You can complete the online course in your pajamas, a burqa, bikini, birthday suit or suit of shining armor. You can become a better driver while in bed, standing up, dancing, riding a horse, or floating in a pool of jello (It’s amazing where you can find an Internet connection these days!) — whatever is most comfortable and whatever you need to better focus, learn and improve your defensive driving skills.

Save face:
At Comedy Guys, all of our defensive driving instructors and writers are professional comedians, including those in the online course. At home, you can feel free to laugh, snort, crack up, guffaw and fall off your couch as loud as you want without distracting other students. You also have the freedom to boo, hiss, yawn, heckle and roll your eyes without offending our hardworking teachers. Our online defensive driving course guarantees a giggle-(or jeer)-safe environment.

When it comes to teaching with comedy, defensive driving has never been done better than when Comedy Guys does it. Learn more about our classes here, or contact us for more information.