Over on Twitter they’re talking about
#Signs A Person Can’t Cook,
including the photograph above.
Check it out, but some of you may think
they’re talking about you.

Ever wondered why iceberg lettuce is called “iceberg lettuce”?

Mark Holland on Twitter has a theory.

ComedyGuys.com sends a birthday shoutout to Cedric the Entertainer.

Cedric Antonio Kyles is a son of the “Show Me” State, born in 1964 in Jefferson City, Missouri, and growing up in Carruthersville and later Berkeley, in the northeast suburbs of St. Louis.

Though he has moved on to television programs like The Steve Harvey Show and movies like Barbershop, Be Cool, and Spike Lee‘s The Original Kings of Comedy, Cedric keeps in touch with his neighborhood. Every year, his Cedric the Entertainer Charitable Foundation Inc. awards a scholarship to one senior graduating from Berkeley High School.

Here’s a clip of Cedric the Entertainer doing what he does best: making people laugh. This clip is from an appearance on The George Lopez Show, and though Cedric has had to tone the language down for network television, he still proves that he deserves his stage name.

Happy Birthday today to Eric Idle, born in 1943 and one-sixth of the internationally famous Monty Python’s Flying Circus which has either been making people laugh or shake their heads in confusion since 1969.

(Just for the record, the ones laughing are the smarter ones.)

But his career didn’t start and stop with a five-year run on a BBC television program. He is also created and wrote the series Rutland Weekend Television,  which gave rise to The Rutles, a Beatles parody band Idle created twith Neil Innes. Then came their movie, The Rutles: All You Need is Cash, which is a huge favorite of our own Terry Yates.

In the years since The Rutles, Eric Idle has also appeared in several films and stage shows, and published at least two novels. But he’s best when you can see him in action. This clip is a compilation of some of his work from Monty Python.

Nudge, nudge, say no more.

In our @ComedyGuys Twitter timeline was this photo of a variable speed limit from @GuiltlessNick.

If this is funny to you, then we get it too. If you find it sexist and offensive, then please know that we share your outrage.

Comedy Guys Defensive Driving. All things to all people who might pay for our services. 

Seriously though, I wish I knew where this photo was taken, because I wonder what government had the chutzpah, if indeed this is an actual government sign.

On Twitter, Dana Gould showed us this video called Planet of the Apes Dance Party.

Watch it for some fun, but be warned: It’s a madhouse! A MADHOUSE!

The Comedy Guys like to recognize the birthdays of the greats of comedy, and March 16 is the birthday of two famous American comedians, king of the one-liners Henny Youngman and madcap “King of Comedy” Jerry Lewis.

Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist, was born in England in 1906 and relocated to New York City with his family while still very young. One night at a club where he was appearing with his jazz band, he was asked to fill in when the regular comedian didn’t show up. His comedy style was rapid-fire but inoffensive, delivering one laugh after another like a comedy machine gun. Younger comics Mitch Hedberg and Larry the Cable Guy have both cited Youngman as influencing their style.

Here you can see him on John Byner‘s television show BIZARRE in the late 1980s, doing what he did best.

Youngman died in February 1998.

Jerry Lewis, born in 1926, became half of the famous comedy team of Martin and Lewis when he was only twenty years old, and he hasn’t stopped since. He is best known for his slapstick humor and literally playing the fool in films and on television, nightclub stages, and radio. In this clip you can see his surprise reunion with Dean Martin.

You might recognize the guy who arranges the reunion, too.

All these years, and I can’t believe that the Comedy Guys blog has never made an Aggie joke. After all, Aggie jokes are the most Texan of all jokes.

Maybe this is a good start toward making up this deficit:

And before the many A&M students and former students out there get mad at us for being partisan, I should point out that among the Comedy Guys we have exactly one alumni of t.u. So if you must be mad at someone, be mad at him.

Now that I think about it, why are there so many Aggie jokes but I’ve never heard a Longhorn joke? Surely, there must be some out there somewhere.

If you’re not following @ComedyGuys on Twitter yet, you’re missing out on some funny stuff.

I just saw one Toyota Highlander drive another off of the road because, of course, there can be only one.

The wife spend three hours yesterday getting our windows perfectly spotless. She’s not a clean freak; she just really hates birds.

Imagine how crowded the parking lot at the Hotel California must be by now!

I wish I didn’t snore so loudly. I’ve lost so many jobs because of it.

When someone tells me a lame joke, I say “You should totally tweet that!” Then while they’re tweeting, I can make my escape.

Several of our instructors are tweeting too, so you can even follow that guy who taught your defensive driving class.

• @GaryMurray2357 teaches defensive driving classes in Mesquite and literally wrote the book on defensive driving, as far as Comedy Guys is concerned.
• @TheGeneMcGuire teaches defensive driving classes in Burleson and Carrollton.
• @TerryYates1 teaches defensive driving classes in Dallas and Plano.
• @TomLenaghen teaches defensive driving classes in Garland, Richardson, and Carrollton.

Telegraph.Co.UK uploaded this video story about 850 people in New Orleans who set a world record for human dominoes.

No word on how many people hurt their feet by having a human-bearing mattress fall on them.

Found via Fail Blog

Next to the entrance of our office building is a big, blue two-letter sign saying WA, but no one we’ve asked around here can tell us why.

So does anybody care to speculate: what could WA be short for?

And keep it clean, people! Yes, Jerry, I’m talking to you, too.

Admittedly, Comedy Guys Defensive Driving is something of a boy’s club. Our ratio of male employees to female is pretty overwhelming, and that’s even including that one “person” we’re not sure about.

So our attitude toward Valentine’s Day leans more toward mocking it than making it special.

And according to our @ComedyGuys Twitter feed, we’re not alone in this. For days now, Twitter has been the scene of all kinds of jokes about Valentine’s Day and everything that comes with it. We took some of the better jokes that were SFW enough to suit us and turned them into the second installment of our video series Meanwhile on Twitter.

Check them out here. If you’re a twit too, you may find some funny new accounts to follow.

After weeks of pleading, two parents reluctantly gave their teenage daughter permission to use the family car. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late, Dad.” she replied nervously.

Then her father dead-panned, “Then, precious, I’ll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car.”

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”

The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

On his first solo flight in a hot air balloon, Leo realizes that he’s utterly lost.  He reduces the temperature and lowers the balloon until he sees a man in a field below. Maneuvering as close as he can, Leo shouts down, “Excuse me! I promised to meet a friend 20 minutes ago, but I’m really lost! Can you tell me where I am?”

The man in the field yells up, “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, floating approximately 30 feet over this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” Leo yells back.

“How could you tell?” asks the man in the field.

“Well,” says Leo, “everything you’ve told me is technically correct, but I have no idea how to use the information and the fact is that I’m just as lost as I was before.”

The man then yells up, “You must be in management.”

“I am,” replies a suprised Leo, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t where you are or where you’re going; you’ve made a promise you have no idea how to keep; and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you’re in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”