I just found this story on Facebook, on the page of photographer Robert Birge.

Wherever it originated, it was funny enough that I thought is should share it here. It’s a bit difficult to read but worth the effort.

Waldo Stakes is a general contractor with an obsession for setting the land speed record. And he’s hoping to use that obsession – as well as two XLR99 rocket engines – to build a vehicle that will reach 2000 mph.

No, that’s not a typo. We said “2000.” A two with three zeroes behind it.

We found this story at this morning at the Car Gurus Blog, but if you want the full story, check out this article from Popular Mechanics.

From Car Gurus comes this story of a man who won a Lamborghini Murcielago LP640 and drove it for a full six hours before he lost control on a turn and went off of the road.

T Griffith, a writer for Car Gurus that we’ve featured before on ComedyGuys.com, makes the point that there’s a reason why such super-powered cars are beyond the reach of most drivers: because most drivers can’t handle the super power.

Read the entire Car Gurus story here.

Italian police have now pulled over at least two drivers for driving with a cell phone in each hand and no hands on the wheel.

The first instance was a Rome bus driver who was videotaped and went viral last May, costing the man his job.

The second time was last Saturday. A 43-year-old driver in an Alfa Romeo 166 saloon car was pulled over while talking on two cell phones, one in each hand. He told police that he was talking to his wife on one phone when his mother called, and that he couldn’t hang up on either one.

Read the whole story here.

You think you have a lousy morning commute?

Last year on China’s National Highway 110 near Beijing, there was a traffic jam that covered at least 60 miles of roadway and stayed there for at least 10 days. On average drivers were trapped for 8 hours, and local merchants took advantage to sell food at seriously marked up prices.

Right now, Central Expressway in Dallas doesn’t seem so awful, does it?

Read a Wall Street Journal news story of the massive gridlock here.

Or read the abbreviated version at OMG Facts, which is where we found the story.

Every summer the town of Estes, Colorado is invaded by frisky male elk who wander into town to battle each other for the right to get with the females who graze on the town’s golf courses.

And I thought human tourists were annoying.

This video comes from the BBC One program HUMAN PLANET. Although it being the BBC, maybe I should have said “programme.”

Found via The Presurfer

Do you have any stories of animal encounters while you were driving?
If so, please share them in the comments.

Growing up, television promised that we’d have flying cars by now.

I guess these guys got tired of waiting for technology to catch up with their dreams, so they got all Wacky Races in the driveway.

Here’s another Texas driver, making the rest of us so proud.

On August 14, Timothy Raines of Ft Worth was spotted driving erratically south of the TCU campus on a forklift, which was later revealed to have been stolen from Holiday Inn construction site at Rosedale Street and Forest Park Boulevard. According to the news account that followed, Raines had his dog along as a passenger and drank his beer as he drove along, even hurling empty cans at the police cars that followed.

Beers, dogs, stolen forklift, and running from the cops — there’s got to be a country song in there somewhere.

UTA student Nathan Lowery, also of Fort Worth, was driving south on South University Drive to get gas when he spotted the freewheeling forklift, made a U-turn, and whipped out his camera. As a result we have this wonderful video footage below.

View more videos at: http://nbcdfw.com.

In a later story, Fort Worth Police stated that Lowery and his roommate, who was riding along as a passenger, may face charges for violating traffic laws while putting themselves and the public in danger by following the chase.

Pay attention now, because there are a lot of states involved here.

On August 10, two Colorado police officers were driving through Goshen County, Wyoming on their way to a funeral for two officers recently killed in the line of duty in South Dakota. A volunteer fireman spotted the car, which was reportedly speeding, driving erratically, and using its emergency lights to pass other vehicles.

Goshen County Sheriff’s Capt. Brian Morehouse said he clocked the car going 57 mph in a 40 mph zone. After pulling them over, he smelled alcohol and found beer in a cooler inside the car. The officer driving was charged careless driving and speeding. His breathalyzer test revealed a BAC of .07, just under the legal limit of .08. As a result of this, he was charged with the misdemeanor DWUI instead of DUI.

Check out the local news coverage here.

On occasion, people complain that Comedy Guys dedicates so much time in its defensive driving classes to the dangerous combination of alcohol and moving vehicles. Well, law enforcement people hear about this more than you’ll hear in ten defensive driving classes, and still they can forget the risks and take stupid chances with their own and others’ lives and safety.

Of course, this isn’t the actual Flintstone mobile because that was a two-dimensional thing drawn for the cartoon and doesn’t exist in three-dimensional space.

(Yes, I’m ignoring those two movies, and so should you.)

Instead, this is a three-dimensional replica built by a devoted fan and tinkerer, who has put the car on the market. The price is 2,200 Euros plus shipping costs from France, where the car is currently.

Also unlike the Fred’s original, this 2011 replica has an engine, a 4-cylinder 1.6 petrol engine that the current owner says has about 80,000 km on it so far – or just short of 50,000 miles, for the metrically challenged. The wooden wheels are dummies, concealing actual rubber tires, the engine, fuel tank, etc.

Found via The Presurfer

Meanwhile in Montreal, a plumbing problem caused a sewage drain to spew forth like Old Faithful. Which was really bad luck for the guy parked on top of the drain.

Wait ’til 35 seconds in, when things really get lively. Zut alors!

Over the holiday weekend, a New York motorcyclist willed in an accident while participating in the 11th annual ride protesting the New York law that requires motorcycle riders to wear helmets.

Phillip Contos, a New York truck driver and former US soldier, was taking part in the Independance Ride, an annual protest ride sponsored by the Syracuse, New York chapter of  ABATE, American Bikers Aimed Toward Education.  The group is not necessarily opposed to helmets; they protest instead laws that make their use mandatory.

The collision occurred after the 55-year-old Contos hit his brakes. His Harley-Davidson fishtailed out of control and hit a guardrail, sending Contos over the handlebars to land on his head. Medical experts have suggested that his life would have been saved had he been wearing helmet.

By the afternoon following the crash, Phillip Contos’s older brother Richard was already sick of getting calls from reporters, pointing out the irony of the death. Calling his brother “a rebel,” he told reporters that if his brother had it to do all over again, he’d probably still ride without a helmet.

Last week, GMAC Insurance announce the results of its 7th annual National Drivers Test, and the results are only slightly surprising to anyone who spends much time on the road, driving among their fellow Americans.

The survey polled over 5000 licensed drivers, between the ages of 16 to 65 and in all 50 states and DC. These drivers were asked 20 questions from state DMV tests, the same tests that prospective drivers take to get their license in the first place.

And roughly 18% of them couldn’t pass the test. That’s 36.9 million drivers on American roads who couldn’t get a license if they were taking the test today for the first time. 85% of those taking the test didn’t know what to do if approaching a steady yellow light, and 75% didn’t know what a safe following distance was. These are exactly the kinds of things that we cover in our defensive driving classes.

The low score is still something of an improvement over 2010. Last year, the average score was 76.2 which increased to 77.9 in 2011. Kansas continued to hold first place, with an average score of 82.9. Last place in 2010 went to New York, but the New Yorkers were bumped out of last place this year by Washington, DC, with an average score of 71.8 percent. Wyoming was the state with the lowest percentage of failures: only 1 of 20 (4.5 percent) failed the test

The test is still available at the GMAC website if you want to take the test for yourself.

As an added attraction to this year’s  Indianapolis 500 on May 29th, Team Hot Wheels sponsored an attempte to break the world record for a distance jump in a four-wheeled vehicle.

Team Hot Wheels is a stunt driving team comprised of four drivers. Originally, the drivers were to be anonymous, known only by the colors Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. This particular impressive bit of driving was accomplished by the Yellow Driver, Tanner Foust. He and his specially prepared truck dropped down 90 feet of track before soaring 332 feet through the air. When he’s not making his car fly, Foust is one of the hosts of Top Gear America.

I think the coolest part is the way they decorated the track. For a Hot Wheels car, it had to be orange with raised sides. Hanging it from a simulated giant door just made it that much sweeter.

One of my all time favorite tickets was from a young lady in my class who worked for a funeral home.

One day, she was transporting a body in a casket either to or from the funeral home, and hopped into the HOV lane under the assumption that there were two people riding in the car.

The police officer that pulled her over didn’t quite see it that way, and neither did the judge. She tried to fight the ticket, explaining that there were two of them in the car. The judge explained to her that a corpse didn’t count as a person, that’s why autopsy reports are public record, and they refer to the deceased’s ‘remains’.

When I retell this story in the classroom, many of my students tend to take her side.

During one class where I was telling this story, a young lady there that day — not the brightest bulb in the chandelier — asked “Was it like a hearse of something?”

No, we tried to explain, she found it on the side of the road.