Do you know how tall what your driving is?

This guy didn’t, but I bet he never makes this mistake again.

How Not To Use The Drive Through ATM – Watch MoreFunny Videos

Found via able2know

In our defensive driving classes, our comedian/instructors explain how higher speed means more destructive power in a crash. Scientifically speaking, the formula is force of impact = 1/2 of mass times the speed. In layman’s terms, the heavier the vehicle OR the higher the speed, the more destructive force when the vehicle hits something.

Recently, British telephone program FIFTH GEAR filmed a clear demonstration of this principle.

Most automotive crash tests are conducted at 30mph, but FIFTH GEAR producers decided to conduct a test at 120mph, four time the usual speed but still a speed that many cars on the road can attain. Check out for yourself how much damage this added speed created.

We bring this up in our defensive driving classes to make a very simple point: any reduction in speed can reduce your force of impact in a crash. You may not see much difference between going 40mph and 35mph, but just that 5mph decrease can take thousands of foot-pounds of  force out of a collision and seriously reduce the amount damage you and your car sustain.

So it’s all part of our real mission at Comedy Guys Defensive Driving. You have to drive to live your life. We just want to make you as safe possible when you’re on the road.

Found via The Presurfer,
which a really cool ‘blog worth a visit.

Growing up, television promised that we’d have flying cars by now.

I guess these guys got tired of waiting for technology to catch up with their dreams, so they got all Wacky Races in the driveway.

Here’s another Texas driver, making the rest of us so proud.

On August 14, Timothy Raines of Ft Worth was spotted driving erratically south of the TCU campus on a forklift, which was later revealed to have been stolen from Holiday Inn construction site at Rosedale Street and Forest Park Boulevard. According to the news account that followed, Raines had his dog along as a passenger and drank his beer as he drove along, even hurling empty cans at the police cars that followed.

Beers, dogs, stolen forklift, and running from the cops — there’s got to be a country song in there somewhere.

UTA student Nathan Lowery, also of Fort Worth, was driving south on South University Drive to get gas when he spotted the freewheeling forklift, made a U-turn, and whipped out his camera. As a result we have this wonderful video footage below.

View more videos at: http://nbcdfw.com.

In a later story, Fort Worth Police stated that Lowery and his roommate, who was riding along as a passenger, may face charges for violating traffic laws while putting themselves and the public in danger by following the chase.

Pay attention now, because there are a lot of states involved here.

On August 10, two Colorado police officers were driving through Goshen County, Wyoming on their way to a funeral for two officers recently killed in the line of duty in South Dakota. A volunteer fireman spotted the car, which was reportedly speeding, driving erratically, and using its emergency lights to pass other vehicles.

Goshen County Sheriff’s Capt. Brian Morehouse said he clocked the car going 57 mph in a 40 mph zone. After pulling them over, he smelled alcohol and found beer in a cooler inside the car. The officer driving was charged careless driving and speeding. His breathalyzer test revealed a BAC of .07, just under the legal limit of .08. As a result of this, he was charged with the misdemeanor DWUI instead of DUI.

Check out the local news coverage here.

On occasion, people complain that Comedy Guys dedicates so much time in its defensive driving classes to the dangerous combination of alcohol and moving vehicles. Well, law enforcement people hear about this more than you’ll hear in ten defensive driving classes, and still they can forget the risks and take stupid chances with their own and others’ lives and safety.

We’ve all seen idiots driving around who have no business being behind the wheel of a car. But they don’t just drive those cars: sometimes they have to wash them, too.

Now that could have been just bad luck. (It could also have been staged. After all, they pointed a camera at a car wash for some reason.) But this next guy is just stupid, thinking that while the car was being automatically washed he pop around the corner to take care of something.

I’m not even going to try to explain this car wash customer’s behavior. Just look at what the security cameras captured…

Meanwhile in Montreal, a plumbing problem caused a sewage drain to spew forth like Old Faithful. Which was really bad luck for the guy parked on top of the drain.

Wait ’til 35 seconds in, when things really get lively. Zut alors!

I’ll admit it: I was a little nervous when Comedy Guys Defensive Driving gave Gene McGuire a little video camera to take to his defensive driving classes. I mean, there was no way of knowing what this guy would bring back.

But so far it’s been okay. Just a few of his defensive driving students telling stories and a couple of clips of some cat doing something “adorable.”

Here’s the first one: Aaron telling the story of the time he challenged some cop to a street race.

And just so we know you’ve been told this at least once, don’t do stuff like this.

As an added attraction to this year’s  Indianapolis 500 on May 29th, Team Hot Wheels sponsored an attempte to break the world record for a distance jump in a four-wheeled vehicle.

Team Hot Wheels is a stunt driving team comprised of four drivers. Originally, the drivers were to be anonymous, known only by the colors Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. This particular impressive bit of driving was accomplished by the Yellow Driver, Tanner Foust. He and his specially prepared truck dropped down 90 feet of track before soaring 332 feet through the air. When he’s not making his car fly, Foust is one of the hosts of Top Gear America.

I think the coolest part is the way they decorated the track. For a Hot Wheels car, it had to be orange with raised sides. Hanging it from a simulated giant door just made it that much sweeter.

1. Don’t steal beer.

2. Don’t let your pants sag.

3. Especially don’t do both at the same time.

Unusual footage of a bus out of control and crashing into cars, shot from multiple angles by the bus’s own cameras.

Remember this: the vehicles that are so heavy that they are hard to get moving are also hard to stop quickly. When pulling in front of a city bus or a large semi truck-and-trailer, give them sufficient following distance between them and your rear bumper.

A three-second stopping distance is usually safe between two cars under normal driving conditions, but heavy vehicles take longer to stop and need more stopping distance.

Okay, now let me see if I got this right: You came into my Comedy Guys Defensive Driving class not for ticket dismissal but because a judge ordered you to do so. It seems that you were caught riding your motorcycle down one of the busiest freeways in Dallas, Texas, at a speed of one hundred and thirty six miles per hour. As the icing on the cake you were standing your “donor cycle” up on one wheel, popping a wheelie in the middle of traffic. Is that what you’re telling me?

Now what was your question again?

Oh, that’s right. Do I think that the police academy that you’ve applied to will find out about this ticket and will it affect your chances of being accepted?

Gee, how do I put this gently…

After being a licensed driving safety instructor here in Texas for almost 16 years, I have heard hundreds… nay, thousands of criminals — er…uh, students — with sob stories and asinine excuses for doing dumb things behind the wheel of their car or as in his case on the back of a motorcycle.

What has always amazed me is the sincerity with which they defend their actions. Whether it’s the young high schooler trying to get back home before curfew or the band equipment salesman who had forgotten to leave a trombone at the last junior high school he visited, they all argue adamantly that they were justified in doing the dangerous deed for which they were cited and sent to spend the day with me. When I asked one high schooler how his excessive acceleration effort turned out, he showed me the large obvious divot in his skull and the Frankenstein-ish track left by the surgical staples all down his right arm. It seems that when a Honda Civic tries to take a sharp corner at eighty-three miles per hour and misses, it has the ability to completely sheer a telephone pole in half, but a tree? Not so much.

The laws of nature will not be violated without consequences. You may get a temporary stay of execution for a period of time, but the Piper comes a callin’ eventually. He’ll take everything he can as payment: cash, credit, careers, and mabe even a life.

The fact that this young crash test dummy starter kit was still alive was indeed amazing, but when he revealed that at the time of his aforementioned audition for “World’s Dumbest Drivers,” he was very drunk and barefoot and actually left the scene before the cops arrived. His confession made more than a few jaws in my classroom drop. The fact that he was drunk — even at seventeen and under the legal drinking age — unfortunately was not the reason for dismay. That happens all too frequently.

What was shocking was that he was able to leave the scene of the crash in something other than an ambulance, a police car or a body bag considering the injuries he incurred. The time he spent in the hospital and the doghouse he was in at home seemed to have dimmed his little bulb but there was still a detectable amount of smug invincibility about him that told me that this probably wasn’t his last adventure.

It’s this bullet-proof mentality that both gives me job security and scares me at the same time. Regardless of the results some people will keep doing dangerous stunts until the consequences become scary enough. He hadn’t reached that point yet. His parting comment was something about going to look for a newer and faster car.

When I’m performing in a comedy show and one of the audience members makes a comment as asinine as this, it’s to be expected because alcohol is usually involved. But when a stone cold sober person sits in front of me and ten to fifteen fellow felons and tries to convince me that he or she is a “safe speeder,” you have to wonder if there actually was one child left behind. Way, way behind. Considering the fact every year in America over 30,000 lives are lost on our roadways, and the most common factor in those fatalities is speed, it might lead one to believe that ignorance abounds.

The young Evel Knievel-wannabe who was popping wheelies in traffic actually stated that since he was eventually going to be a police officer and upholding the laws of the land he figured he would have as much fun now and “get it out of his system.” I informed him that the only thing he was most likely going to get out of his system was internal organs and life-giving fluids.

You would think that he would be aware of this since he shared with the class the fact that he had lost his best friend six months ago. It seems that his best friend was riding his crotch rocket down I-35 at over a hundred miles per hour and hit a reflector attached to the road. Oh yeah, he was popping a wheelie at the time, and the laws of gravity are still being enforced.

Sad but true.

Okay, I’m not sure whether to categorize this under “Inventions & Gadgets” or “Uh… Don’t Do This,” so I’ll just go with both.

And I offer 10 Pointless Points to the first person to explain why this works.

- Wes Williams

Repairing a wheel using gas and a lighter from MechanicsHubdotCom on Vimeo.

Found via Fail Blog’s There, I Fixed It.

And from FailBlog’s That Will Buff Out comes this further proof
that some people have really twisted priorities.

Okay, yeah, this guy was just doing his job and she must have broken some law to get into this situation, but if you’ve ever had your car towed against your will, you gotta enjoy this just a bit.

Found via That Will Buff Out