I’m trying not to laugh at this, but I can’t help it.

The decals on the doors of Vermont State Police cars are printed by inmates at Northwest State Correctional Facility. The center of the decal includes a drawing of a cow and an evergreen tree in a green field, with snow-covered mountains in the distance.

In 2008, an inmated opened the computer file and redrew one of the spots on the cow to resemble a fat little pig. Then in 2009 the state ordered new decals for use on new cars or older car where one door had been repaired or replaced.  The state estimates that 60 decals were printed, and some 30 state police cars drove around with the tiny bit of hidden sarcasm for a number of years before the pig was spotted.

You can read the entire story in the Burlington Free Press here.

Interstate highways are supposed to go from one state to the next.

That fact is in the very name: “inter” meaning between and “state” meaning. . .   uh. . . state. So interstate highways should go between states. Sure, Texas drivers can drive on the interstate for hours without hitting a state border, but  they’re original purpose was to make it possible for people to go from one state to another.

So this question comes up from time to time: Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

And usually it seems to be asked by some smart aleck who thinks he’s just thought of something really clever and original. (You know who you are.)

In truth, Hawaii does have three interstate highways — H1, H2, and H3 — all of which were built to connect important military facilities on the island of Oahu. So not only do they not connect to other states, they don’t even connect to the other eight major islands.

And that mention of military facilities is a big part of the explanation of why they’re called “interstate highways” even when they’re obviously not inter-state highways.

Following World War II and during the Cold War, the US government had been concerned about the ability to rapidly move military personnel and equipment rapidly across the country. President Eisenhower in particular had returned from Germany very impressed by the Autobahn system that Hitler’s National Socialist had created to move their army around. So a movement was begun to build a similar system in the USA, which led eventually to the Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956. This act called for the construction of an enormous highway infrastructure to connect major cities and military facilities, even the three in Hawaii.

And that’s why Hawaii has three interstate highways, even if they’re not for travelling inter-state.

The Dallas – Fort Worth theater critics at John Garcia’s The Column has announced their choices for Best of Theatre 2011. And among the choices honored were two that included two of the comedian/actors that teach classes for Comedy Guys Defensive Driving.

Associate critic Mark-Brian Sonna chose A TRIP TO BOUNTIFUL, presented by the Contemporary Theatre of Dallas last April/May as “THE BEST production in DFW last year.” As we wrote last March, the Bountiful cast included Tom Lenaghen, a professional actor who also teaches defensive driving classes for Comedy Guys in Richardson and Garland.

For Best Playwright of 2011, associate critic Mary L. Clark chose Valerie Goodwin and her THE MAGDALEN WHITEWASH, which had its professional premiere staged last spring by the Broken Gears Project Theatre. That production included Terry Yates, a comedian and actor that teaches Plano and Dallas defensive driving classes for Comedy Guys.

Comedy Guys congratulates all the Dallas – Ft Worth people and productions singled out by The Column for this recognition. You can read a complete list of choices made by John Garcia and twelve associate critics here.

I just found this story on Facebook, on the page of photographer Robert Birge.

Wherever it originated, it was funny enough that I thought is should share it here. It’s a bit difficult to read but worth the effort.

Comic actor David Moore has been one of Comedy Guys’ defensive driving instructors for a few years now, and he is repeatedly one of the most popular with driving safety customers.

After a recent Saturday class at Dave & Busters on Walnut Hill and Central Expressway, customers had a lot of nice things to say about David and his class.

Kareem B. of Dallas complimented David on his “great enthusiasm” and “good interaction with students.”

Juliet J. – also from Dallas – was just as complimentary: “Mr. Dave is an excellent teacher and most humorous. I would definitely recommend this class to my friends.”

Alicia V. of Sachse agreed, saying  “I really enjoyed the class and the instructor, and if I ever had to take this again I would take this class.” She even had good things to say about the Comedy Guys office staff: “They did a great job helping me because I had a problem on the Internet.” We love hearing comments like this: Comedy Guys Defensive Driving is one of the few companies left that has an actual office that is open every weekday and is staffed with trained employees who take good care of our customers.

Finally, Xavier M. of Garland said simply “I really liked this class,” which is exactly what we want to hear from everyone who takes a Comedy Guys Defensive Driving class, whether they take it one of our live class locations or our online defensive driving course, which you can even access on your iPhone, iPad, and Android smartphone or tablet.

The only downside to David’s popularity is that it means that Todd Justice, professional stand up comic, has a challenge in front of him as he begins Saturday defensive driving classes at our new Dallas location, SpeedZone Dallas at 11130 Malibu Drive (NW corner of Walnut Hill and Interstate 35E).

We’re not worried though. At Comedy Guys Defensive Driving, we know that it’s the smart, entertaining, and friendly people that teach our live defensive driving classes that make us better than our competitors.

— Wes Williams

Today, comic actor John Belushi would have been 63 years old. Except that he’s not because he didn’t live that long. He died in March of 1982, at the age of 33. But instead of dwelling on his death, let’s just remember how funny he was.

With this sequence from THE BLUES BROTHERS, one cool movie that features two of the best chase scenes in movie history.

After weeks of pleading, two parents reluctantly gave their teenage daughter permission to use the family car. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.

The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”

“Not too late, Dad.” she replied nervously.

Then her father dead-panned, “Then, precious, I’ll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car.”

Buffet King 2251 S Loop 288 Denton TX 76205

Comedy Guys Defensive Driving  is adding a new Denton location to its already busy schedule of driving safety classes.

Starting Saturday, January 28th, we will be holding our defensive driving classes written and taught by professional comedians at Buffet King in Denton. Buffet King is locally well known for its large and elegant dining room and its extensive and varied food including Chinese cuisine, Mongrolian grill, and sushi.

Classes at Buffet King Denton are scheduled for Saturday mornings from 10am to 4pm, beginning on January 28, 2012.

For details or to sign up for a class online, see our class schedule or call Comedy Guys Defensive Driving at 214-426-6339.

When a large truck-and-trailer rear-ended a passenger car on a California bridge last night, it had tragic and fatal results.

The truck plummeted over the edge of the bridge, crashing into the creek below and bursting into flames, killing the driver. The car and its occupants — a 36-year-old woman and her two daughters, ages 10 and 10 weeks — were left dangling over the edge of the bridge for at least one hour before being rescued.

Most remarkably, the ten-week-old baby slept for most of that hour while she and her family awaited rescue. California Highway Patrol credits the child’s safety to the mother having used a properly installed rear-facing child safety seat.

As Comedy Guys Defensive Driving reported last year, The American Academy of Pediatrics and The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration recommends keeping children in rear-facing seats for even longer than previously recommended because of the additional safety it provides.

You can see video coverage of the crash site and the rescue here.

Defensive driving instructor Gary Murray gets many positive comments from the customers who take his Mesquite defensive driving classes.

Even moving some of our driving safety classes into a new location at Buffalo Wild Wings near 635 and Town East Blvd hasn’t stopped the positive testimonials from coming in.

At a recent Mesquite class, John P of Forney called Gary “very smart, intelligent, and informative.”

Christina W of Terrell said he was “very funny” and that Gary “needs a pay raise.” (To tell the truth, so many people tell us that Gary needs a raise — in those exact same words — that we sometimes suspect he’s been telling them what to write.)

Marvin T of Rowlett praised Gary for being “very friendly” and working to remember the names of everyone in the class. This is the kind of personal touch that brings people back to take Gary’s class again the next time they need a defensive driving course.

Finally Lilian A of Garland commented that Gary “imparted so much knowledge with a great sense of humor.” Which really nicely summarizes exactly what Comedy Guys works to do both in all of its defensive driving classes in 17 Texas cities and with its online defensive driving course, which is even conveniently formatted on iPhones, iPads, and Android smart phones and tablets.

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”

The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

SpeedZone Dallas 11130 Malibu Drive Dallas, TX 75229

The Comedy Guys calendar of classes is expanding again with a new defensive driving class location in Dallas.

Starting this month, we will be holding our defensive driving classes written and taught by professional comedians at SpeedZone Dallas, located on the southbound service road of Interstate 35E between Royal Lane and Walnut Hill.

Classes at SpeedZone Dallas are scheduled for Saturday mornings from 10am to 4pm, beginning on January 7, 2012.

For details or to sign up for a class online, see our class schedule or call Comedy Guys Defensive Driving at 214-426-6339.

Texas: Small Plane from Houston Lands on Conroe Street
A Civil Air Patrol pilot from Houston made an emergency landing on a street in Conroe after the small plane developed engine trouble.

Colorado: Denver City County Give Initial Approval to Cameras
Following an audit that criticized Denver’s traffic photo-enforcement program as having unproven results, the City Council on Tuesday gave initial approval to renew the contract of the photo red-light program.

California: Local Communities Get More Control over Speed Limits
California communities now have more leeway in setting speed limits. As a result, yellow light intervals will also be reduced.

Louisiana: New Orleans Police Officers Owe Large Portion of Unpaid Tickets
Some of the biggest accumulators of unpaid traffic tickets in New Orleans are city employees. But it’s unclear how many of them are racking up tickets while they race to fires or hurry to crime scenes as opposed to simply violating traffic laws for no good reason.

These driving news stories found via
NMA Driving News and other sources.

Waldo Stakes is a general contractor with an obsession for setting the land speed record. And he’s hoping to use that obsession – as well as two XLR99 rocket engines – to build a vehicle that will reach 2000 mph.

No, that’s not a typo. We said “2000.” A two with three zeroes behind it.

We found this story at this morning at the Car Gurus Blog, but if you want the full story, check out this article from Popular Mechanics.

New Year’s weekend is a bad time for a lot of drivers.

There are more cars on the road than usual, and more drivers who are rushing to get somewhere by a certain time. And, sadly, more drivers on the road who’ve had too much to drink and aren’t as “good to go” as they think they are.

All across Texas this weekend, police officers and highway patrol officers will be out in force, protecting us all from stupidity and carelessness. Both our own and those of other drivers.

And for those of you who get pulled over who are tempted to get angry or frustrated, Comedy Guys Defensive Driving has two words of advice: grow up.

The men and women sitting by the side of the road in those patrol cars this weekend probably don’t want to be there. It’s a holiday weekend for them, too, and like the rest of us they’d rather be with their friends and family, having a good time and celebrating the beginning of another new year.

But instead, they’re at work, giving up yet another holiday to make the roads safer for the rest of us. Letting their families celebrate without them one more time so they can do their job. So instead of giving them some rude attitude, remember that they’re sacrificing their holiday for the benefit of you and everyone else on the road.

You might even want to say “thank you” for their service.