Jeffery Dahmer was a serial killer and mass murderer known for his depraved acts which included necrophilia and cannibalism.  He killed almost two dozen young men and kept body parts of his victims in his refrigerator.  People assumed he was just making head cheese.  After his sentence, he was bludgeoned to death in prison.  He just claimed that he wanted to ‘take a bite out of life.’

There are those who are fascinated by this disturbed young man.  Some said he had a cutting sharp wit and a biting tongue.  Others said he wasn’t much of a talker, but he certainly liked to chew the fat.   He eventually moved to a bigger apartment because he needed the elbow room.  His favorite dish was steak  and kidney pie–without the steak.  He unsuccessfully tried to brew beer from his victims.  The problem was that the ale had no head.

The question arises:  What is the difference between Jeffery Dahmer and an orange?  An orange gets the pulp pounded out if it before it goes into the can.

And what as Dahmer’s favorite shampoo?  Head and shoulders.

Dahmer worked at the Ambrosia Chocolate Factory.  Was he the inspiration for Willy Wonka?  As he lay dying in prison, Jeffery’s last words were simple–”Eat Me!”

Lastly, what did they serve at his wake?  Finger sandwiches and mixed nuts.  His funeral was open casket with an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Gary Murray (104 Posts)

Defensive driving instructor Gary Murray is also our resident film expert, writing and publishing movie reviews at Selig Film News and BigFanBoy. Gary teaches Comedy Guys Defensive Driving classes in Mesquite, Texas.  Connect with Gary on the web using his personal social links below. Connect with Comedy Guys Defensive Driving using any of our social media links below Gary's profile or by texting  MYIPAD to 69302.

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Not everyone has the same sense of humor.

Sometimes we get comments like this one about our online defensive driving course:

I learned a lot, but it wasn’t funny. The jokes were boring. I didn’t laugh once.

 Here’s our standard response:

We’re glad you learned a lot from our online driving safety course, but we’re sorry that our jokes didn’t make you laugh. Not everyone has the same sense of humor, and it’s usually impossible to come up with something that makes everyone laugh.

 Here are three things that we ask you to keep in mind.

Live defensive driving vs online defensive driving

First, online we have no way to gauge our audience from moment to moment.

The comedians who teach our live defensive driving classes have the advantage of being in the same room as the students. They can get a sense of what jokes will work and what would be going too far, and there’s something engaging about interaction with a live person that an online course just can’t match.

Online, we have to aim at the broadest possible audience, and that means playing it safe a lot of the time. What’s safe and funny for some will just be boring or mildly amusing to others.

Being funny without being offensive

Secondly, a lot of comedy – especially the stand-up comedy that you can see in a comedy club – is founded on being offensive and controversial. The audience has shown up knowing what to expect. This gives the comedians license to take chances, experiment with risky (and risqué) material, and push the proverbial envelope. They trust that overall the laughs will outnumber the boos.

And the death threats.

But Comedy Guys is not a comedy club. We are essentially a driving school that uses comedy to eliminate the boredom. By indulging in the kind of jokes that will make part of our customer base laugh, we risk seriously offending the rest of them.

What’ll you have?

And, finally, in a comedy club, the audience is at least partially drunk, which makes a lot of things seem funnier. Many, many stand-up comics are only funny when the audience has been drinking.

Not to mention any names, of course.

In short, if the jokes in our online defensive driving course didn’t make you laugh, that’s disappointing. If you need a driving safety class in the future, maybe try one of our live classes, where the instructors have more freedom to vary the jokes to the crowd.

But if you finish our course having learned a lot, having become a safer driver, and getting your ticket dismissed – all without being bored senseless the whole time – then we feel like we done our job.

Of course, it’s a relief to us that for every comment we get saying someone didn’t laugh, we get another comment from someone saying we made them laugh a lot.

That’s a 1:1 laugh-to-meh ratio.

Most stand-ups comics would kill for that kind of success rate.

At least one, in fact, has killed to get more laughs, but we’re not allowed to talk about that until the trial is over.

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Dave Thomas gained fame by being a part of SCTV, the Canadian sketch comedy show that gave SNL a run for it’s money in the 1980s.  Along with such comedy performers as John Candy, Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, and Harold Ramis, they proved that people from the higher latitudes can bring the funny.

Perhaps his greatest creation was with Rick Moranis when they debuted Bob & Doug McKenzie, the two Canadian hosts of The Great White North.  They drank beer and called each other other “hosers” while playing games such as beer Russian Roulette.  The two eventually starred in the film Strange Brew.  To prove the two are total sell-outs, they have licensed their image to such companies as NBC, Miller Brewing, and Disney.  Dave is also turning the duo into a cartoon series.  It is about time we had a pair of drunks on kid’s television.

Dave has appeared in many television series and in such flicks as Stripes, Rat Race and Spies Like Us. One of his longest runs was on Grace Under Fire where he played Russell Norton.  For five seasons, Dave had to battle a drunken Brett Butler.  Who says that Hollywood has no dark side…

Today, Dave spends the bulk of his time as founder and President of Animax Entertainment, an animation company based in Van Nuys and Toronto.  Talk about a long daily commute.

Gary Murray (104 Posts)

Defensive driving instructor Gary Murray is also our resident film expert, writing and publishing movie reviews at Selig Film News and BigFanBoy. Gary teaches Comedy Guys Defensive Driving classes in Mesquite, Texas.  Connect with Gary on the web using his personal social links below. Connect with Comedy Guys Defensive Driving using any of our social media links below Gary's profile or by texting  MYIPAD to 69302.

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